Ever love someone so much tht u don't even think about urself? ever love someone until he said his life's sucks because of u? That was really rude. huh im done. Done with all tht. better pretend tht i hv no one to love n i cant be loved at all. i guess that will serve me well. myb im stupid enough to let myself begging for love but in d mean time, he always think tht im no good 4 him. Im no one!
im so broken into pieces. I really am being honest al ths time.ya i tried! but never appreciated. Mayb im not perfect enough 4 u. n know wht? i will never b wht u always mock me!mark my words.
oh well..i have to live my own anywhere. i need to learn to let u go n let u b happy on what u do.i mean no harm frm d beginning of our 'hardship'.but it ends ths way.. i knew u don't hv tht feeling anymore.so why still stay? n i know u're goin to make my heart broke, but why i still can act dunno. u often hinted me tht u're not happy with me, but y i still force u to be wth me!! am i tht crazy 4 u? sigh..i really hope tht God can just pick a finger n i will forget all about u, all about my past instantly..n never will look back again,never! cause i know,i am not a good girl, my past already killed me.i am dead,ugly,hopeless,helpless,n forgotten. i hate to look back,but i always did.
Somehow,i need to step forward.i love my family so much n i wont disappointing em . To mom n dad,i wont let u down again. after all i've been through u're still standing for me.im so blessed..thank God. Now, i really need to change my personality n my mind. If u want to go then GO. Without u, i still need to go on right. mybe..just mybe someday thre will b someone who willing to love me like i do love him....N I KNOW before tht i need to dumped out all d jealousy, all unforgiven, all confusion,all blaming other people for my own mistake,get rid all d poison tht stopping me whats God about to pouring into my life. Dear God pls give me a new way of looking into my circumstances. By You,after ths thre will be blessings, there will be miracles, there will be apportunities, n yes it's gonna be some struggles,it's gonna be some troubles, it's gonna be some tests..but even the struggles aren't an apportunity to show off my victory if my mind can handle the CHANGE.
Im gonna made up my mind, im gonna be happy, im gonna be healthy then i ever be, i cant role the clock back, but wht i've got left im gonna maximize it, I WILL REJOICE.
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