Im so thank god of being here today..well..still breathing..my eyes still can see things..hear things..smell things.. smtimes i think i dont deserve al ths specialty.(evn though im not that special),i think God treats me so good,so damn good until i forgot what i've been through al ths time ait..huh tht was totally 'The Stupidity of Me!'. In the matter of fact..there are still some stuff that i wanted to change but i cant or maybe im too slow to make a move..guess im so tired of trying. Trying to satisfy people around me, trying so hard to be somebody they want me to be but when i did(i think i did) n still they say it doesn't good enough to make em feel good. Then? what else i can do about it?u know i cannot just transform myself like those movies u watched. Somehow i wanted to go far away frm here just to b alone with somebody who really love me the way i am instead of keep pushing me down. I always giving people an advise or mayb an encouragement in their life(im very good in tht) and guess wht? it does work for em., but who will give me that kind of advise or maybe just a simple words tht come frm their heart?sincere words...?? emm..I know i always can speak to God..but He always didn't answer me back,0 mean directly..then always..i figured it out myself.(n still....i know tht come frm Him).
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